Belongs and Belongings

Be happy with yourself, and people around you will be attracted by your self-happiness.

I was putting on my contact lenses and kept thinking: what in the very first place did I become a glasses user that stays with me for the rest of my life? A little bit of regret kicks in my mind; I can hear myself saying: maybe if you didn’t do that to belong to the group of classmates, you wouldn’t have to wear glasses now.

Well, who knows? I said to myself to shift my mind back to reality! This comparison of what had happened versus what could have happened is unrealistic; no matter how hard we keep thinking of the What If, we won’t be able to know the true answer.

My conscious mind continued to make sense of these emotions and feelings. Those memories of how I got to have my first glasses just crept in. I was clouded by the desire of wanting to have a pair of glasses because those classmates I wanted to belong to, who happened to just began to wear one. I tried my best to blind my eyes during the eye test falsely, and finally, I got what I asked for. My regret emotions subsided.

I am sure that I am not alone. Throughout life, we do what we think is worth to belong, or says, to feel we belong. Sometimes it can be things that we do, for example, go for the same exercises the group of friends enjoys, even if you may not at all. Sometimes it can be the belongings we possess, for example, buying the same brand of bags or cars; even those possessions could cause more than you can afford.

Understand these:

Belongs — As humans, we all want to belong to a family, a group of people, a community, a society, or simply says, in school or at work. It is not because we can’t be alone, but it’s a higher chance of survival that it becomes a part of the survival mechanism through human evolution.

Belongings — it is something that could have given us a sense of worth, a way to evaluate how much we are worth, at least, that is how most of the social norm considers, and how most of the time, we evaluate our own worth. The tangibility seems easier to show and assess, and it can shift our focus on what we truly need.

Our behavior is a way to seek social attention the more attention we can get, the more often we will do it. It is a skill that we are all wired in the brain; we are born with certain personality traits by nature, and how we are nurtured shapes us, especially those experiences from our younger selves. The secret of a happy life lies in our consciousness in managing those already-nurtured behaviors in our mindsets.

Notice these:

Your attachment desire can be changed if you want to; your dependence can be shaped not by others but by yourself. Ask yourself these and allow your conscious mind to take the lead:

Am I doing this for people to like me? Is it what I really enjoy doing?

Am I doing this for people to admire me? Is it what I really want to do?

Am I buying this because I feel more worthy? Do I really need it?

Being attractive:

The imperfect you attract others better —

No one is perfect! We know that. The closer to perfect you are, the larger the gap you have with others. Vulnerability is a key to building great relationships.

People tend to attract by independency —

Interestingly, even if we want to belong, we also need time and space for ourselves. Everyone is spotlighting themselves in many ways that they don’t have too much time to give to others. People appreciate those who are independent and share their time, effort, and goals with others more.

Be happy with yourself, and people around you will be attracted by your self-happiness.

If a pair of conscious glasses is needed, use it!

Thanks for reading.