Rebuild Mindset to Dance with Our Shadow

“When we keep our head up and eyes on the light; the shadow can only be behind us even they won’t go away!” — JacQ

Mental health is as important as physical health; prevention is always better than curing; health as a whole; not every single issue can be eliminate; so how to deal with it also part of the preventative wellness.

I would like to share with you on how to deal with our shadow and change our mindset!

Shadow — something that we would be scared of when we don’t understand it; once we know it’s existence, we know how to put it behind!

Shadow is a kind of mental health issue that following us everywhere but not easy to see it!

Do you have any shadow?

When similar bad situation happened to you again and again; it may not be just bad luck; obvious not others’ problem; it could be a vicious cycle that created subconsciously by our own shadow!

I have some experiences and hope will help you.

I have had a Victim mindset in relationships. This victim mindset ruined most of my relationships; but today; and that shadow had been clouded me for nearly two decades!

When I realized that I was mostly in a negative mindset whenever in a relationship; I knew I need to make changes!

Let’s take a step-by-step for how I rebuilt the mindsets:

First, I need to identify the root of the shadow —

It’s from my childhood memories! My father was physical and mentally abusive; he told my mother to leave whenever he was angry; and those late nights of my mother crying by my bed side, telling me that she had no choice but need to leave me! — the root of the shadow is abandonment; fears of left by the person I love!

Second, what was the triggering fact and how that affect me —

The triggering point is obvious; every time when I fell in love with someone; the shadow just being enhanced; and that extended to friends and family!

Every time I felt love; the victim mindset creeps in. I became extremely demanding for attention; more into the relationship; stronger the victim mindset would be! I began to create things to draw more attentions; I even did a lot of things hoping that someone would gives me more in return!

But the truth was, the shadow created a vicious circle! I tried to prove I was “The woman that no one wants”! And I felt I was right; even though I knew I was the reason actually made that happened!

Even I identified all the points, it doesn’t mean that the shadow will disappear! So the next step is to create a new mindset; a mindset that I keep practicing to adapt changes.

• I learned to accept that shadow is part of me!
• I learned to know my self-worth and build my confident
• I learn to calm myself down every time feeling triggered
• I learned to stop proofing that my destiny would be “The victim in relationships”
• I learn to love myself more and be kind to everyone
• I learn to be grateful for everyone and everything
• And finally, learn how to love someone without expecting anything in return.

In all kind of relationships, we can’t force anyone to love us, the best we can share and give is unconditional love! When we can put others’ happiness as our happiness, their smile as our smiles; our life just become full of joy!

After all these years, I left that vicious circle and that helps me to enjoy every relationships with everyone around me!

Most importantly, our mindset can always be rebuilt; the only person can do this is ourselves!

Dealing with Shadow we need to have a stronger mindset!

MINDSET CAN BE REBUILT & RESET, the KEY is YOU!

“One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious” — Carl Jung

Getting to know the shadow and learn to dance with our own shadow!

My Mindset Rebuilding practice daily:

Kindness is Free and Gratitude is the Key!

Expect Nothing and Appreciate Everything!