The True Love of Life

Self-Love forms Selflessness and Say No to Selfishness!

Self-love is the most important mental health practice; it’s a lifelong practice, and it should be our daily practice! We know that mindset matters; a self-loved mindset help us to achieve almost every single realistic goal!

There’re lots of discussions about self-love throughout different social media platforms; some may confused self-love with physical activities; some may have a controversy about self-love and selfishness. With that we know self-love has significant impacts in both mental health and physical health; we should learn more about the true meanings of it so that we can have accurate practice of self-loved mindset. And by practice it to form selflessness; so that we can prevent being selfish!

Self-love

As I learned about self-love, I took myself out from depression and get rid of my victim mindset; more of learning and practicing self-loved mindset; my life become fulfilling with positive energy and joy. And here I would like to share my learnings.

Self-love is the truest love we all can have, it’s from within and we have full control of it!

Self-love begins in self-communication

Communication is very important in life! often, we thought about communication takes place when we need to learn about another person. The truth is, we have two of our self within; some will call them consciousness and subconsciousness; sometimes they’re actually our rational thinking and emotional responses; and in some occasions, they can also be our ego and our mindset talking to each other. Our inner voices communication is our self-communication.

When great thing happened, we want to know why our emotional response is triggered with happiness; it helps us to know what makes us happy and give us positive energy. And that should be embraced and keep doing.

Relatively, when adversities happened; we would allow our rational thinking mindset to communicate with emotional response; to know why and what triggered the negative energy; such as disappointment, sadness or resentment. Sometimes we may have to communicate deeper with our subconscious mindset to find the root of the negative emotions; some of our dark shadows are imprinted deep within from our childhood experiences. The communication will help us to know it better so that we can take full control of it!

Dark shadow and ego are both exist within each of us!

Recognize them, communicate with them; a full control of dark shadows helps us to peace our mind and soul. Ego is a sense to protect us, especially when some unnecessary judgement or devalued from others; ego definitely is our guard. However, if we allow our ego overpower our conscious mindset, it could blind us from seeing necessary changes; or even worst, it may affect our determination of achieving our goals! Communication helps us to have full power of control in emotions!

Self-understanding

Great self-communication helps to increase our self-understanding; and it should be a daily practice. It may mot sound like mediation; but it’s a day to day mindset rebuilding exercise!

Some may think they know themselves well! My question is, “how well do you know and understand yourself?” I tested by asking myself about my favorite color; we usually has no problem to answer this question. My favorite color is blue, actually all kinds of blue. Next question is why blue is my favorite; most of time, we would say “I just like it” The truth is that, everything that’s our “favorite” for a reason; my reason for blue was a childhood experiences imprinted story; because my aunt once told me I looked the best in a beautiful blue dress, and so I always think that I look the best in blue. The imprinted favorite put me into preferred to choose blue for almost everything in my life!

It’s no different of understand the “why” of a favorite color; through self-communication we learn more about our self; from greatest to the worst memories and experiences; all these “goods” and “bads” actually made who we are today. By understand both our advantages and shortcomings, include limitations; then we can have practice for self-awareness, self-compassion and self-acceptance; and all these practices ultimately help us to know our self-worth.

Self-kindness for self-compassion and self-acceptance

With more understanding of our self, we want to practice self-kindness. Be kind to our self, we are no Saint, we make mistakes, bad decisions, or maybe even let our negative emotions lost control and hurt others; and that’s okay if we recognize and acknowledged them! The key is to understand the “why” through our self-communication, so that we can prevent that happen again! Be kind and accept that we’re imperfect;

Always remember, the true perfection is that we accept that we are imperfect!

Over push and stress our self wouldn’t take us to happy life, instead, it triggers more negative emotions than anyone can do to us!

Self-gratitude into self-awareness

One of the most powerful mindfulness practice is gratitude! Self-gratitude take place when we did something great, when we achieve goals include big and small ones. Most importantly, we are grateful for who we are and what we are capable for.

Practice self-gratitude will help us to have a clear mindset of our self-worth!

And that will help us to make a lot of important decisions in life. For instant, we can see whether we should take whatever we have been offered in our career; or if we should stay in a toxic relationship. Keep practicing everyday, be grateful for who we are absolutely brings positive energy to our daily life!

Self-encouragement

We are the best cheerleader for our self!

The power of self-encouragement is inevitable! When we feel nervous and fears creeping in about something we want to do or need to do; for instant, a presentation over a conference, or an on-stage speech; just tell our self

“I can do this! I can totally do this!”

This is the best way to diminish our fears and uncomfortable feelings! And that helps us to push our own limit and achieve those we called them “Impossible goals”. In order to take the “Im” to separate from impossible to “I’m possible”, self-encouragement is the key! Although others may give us encouragement, they are important but when we have that doubt within, the best encouragement absolutely comes from within! Keep practicing self-encouragement, we will be unstoppable!

Ultimately;

With these self-loved mindset practices, we will build our true self-confident!

Self-love is self-care! It’s more the emotional mindset rebuild practice than anything else! Self-love also include physical health care. For instant, take care of ourselves by consistent exercises; keep healthy dietary; some relaxation activities definitely great for both mental and physical health; such as spa or even just as simple as a hot bath, not only can release our muscle and body exhaustion; it also help us to relax our mind and soul!

Selflessness

After we learn and keep practicing self-love, we will know how to love others selflessly!

The key is very simple, when we take the “Self” off from all of the self-love practices; we will easily know those are the best practices of how to love others, when we learn and practice both; selflessness is in place!

Sometimes we may received some quotes or influential leaders said that as leader, we should be selfless! That’s absolutely one of the highest mindset practice of leadership!

Most importantly, our selflessly dedications for others must be considerate. For instant, not every time we think we’re selfless so we should “eat last’ is truly selfless. The joy of let go all the chores and sit down together with our family and friends are precious! The true selflessness lies in balance of considerations.

While “We Think” we are doing something for others selflessly, make sure that really what others want!

Otherwise, it only triggers opposite effect. And that also become selfish because we are over-focus on what we want to achieve and disregard others’ feeling and needs!

Selfishness

The definition of selfishness is a mindset that shows through one’s characters and attitude,, that one has rarely or no concern for others; more often regarding to status, benefit, interest or money. In a deeper study and learning, that’s also include self emotional fulfillment!

Although we know that we all born with certain characters and personality; but selfishness not one of those that we born with. Most selfish mindset were built and imprinted from our childhood experiences and memories!

Don’t beat yourself up by showing a little of selfishness!

It’s a flaw but we have the power to change it! Begin again with self-communication to self-understanding; find the root of our selfishness; so that we can overpower the selfish mindset and become a better self everyday! We can become more considerate and selflessly to love and live with others.

Love our self from our self within

The true self-love is never selfish! Our true positive and meaningful life is based on practicing a great self-loved mindset. Don’t give up on loving our self! No matter where we are at in life, always know that self-love help us to rebuild our positive mindset! That’s the key to really live our joyful life!

When we have self-love, people around us will love to be with us and love us more because ultimately, we all want to be positive and have happiness and joy in life!

“Mindset can be rebuilt and reset, the key is our self”

Thank you for reading! I hope this sharing will help you to have a joyful life!

Please reach out to me if anything you would like to have further discussion; kindly comment below or contact me through LinkedIn.